Munches: the easiest way into a local scene

What a munch is

A munch is a casual social meetup for people in the kink and alternative-lifestyle community, usually at a restaurant, bar or coffee shop. There's no play, no dress code beyond everyday clothes, and no pressure. People eat, talk and get to know each other.

What to expect

• An organizer or greeter who welcomes newcomers and makes introductions.
• Conversations about anything: the community, local events, everyday life.
• People using screen names or first names only.
• A mix of newcomers and long-time members. You won't be the only new face.

Etiquette

• Dress like you're meeting friends for dinner. The other diners shouldn't be able to tell what the group is.
• Keep talk discreet in public spaces, and keep volume down.
• Don't take photos, and never post who was there.
• Pay for your own order and tip the staff. Venues that host munches like groups that tip well.
• Don't hit on people at their first munch. Making friends comes first.

Going to your first one

• Find munches in your area under Events, or ask in your local group.
• RSVP so the organizer knows to look out for you.
• It's fine to bring a friend, or to leave after half an hour.
• Go to a few before deciding a group isn't for you. Every munch has its own feel.

Munches are where you find out which people locals trust, which events are good, and who to be careful around.

Related guides

• Beginner, 2 min read

  New here? How this community works

  Verification, privacy, consent and etiquette: what to expect before you join and in your first week.

• Intermediate, 2 min read

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